THE BALMORE DIDDY

Gentlemen I was going to keep this post for another day but I have had Danny Totten emailing , texting and now phoning me wanting me to tell all about Stevie "ma card doesn't work on the computer" Paul. So here we go the story of the Balmore Diddy.

For the benefit of all who were not there on Saturday I will explain the procedure for entering your score at BALMORE GOLF CLUB GENTS OPEN. On completing your round you were instructed to go to their computer which was the same as ours then go to the index and find your name as all entrants were on the file. Then you entered your score at BALMORE GOLF CLUB - simple.

Well it's simple for most people but we Hackers have some crackers and boy did this hacker let the side down.

While most of us were sitting having a drink and eating in comes Stevie and walks up to me to and makes a big mistake by waving his LENZIE GOLF CLUB card in my direction. He then utters the now famous "MA CARD DOESN'T WORK WHAT WILL I DO" ??

"Your at fucking Balmore of course your Lenzie card won't work on their computer" I said to him. He quickly realised what a tit he had made of himself and tried to retract his words but to late Danny Balaclava had over heard this and well that was that.

I just hope for everyones sake that no members from any other clubs were waiting to put their scores in as our trumpet head was swiping his LENZIE GC card up and down the BALMORE GC machine trying to get his name to appear. What a boy !!!!

So Stevie it makes a change for the diddy award to be for something other than playing shite at golf. It was a good laugh as you set yourself up for a wee diddy post on the web site.

I did ask for Stevie to pose yesterday at Hayston with his membership card but he refused to cooperate.

So there you go Danny I hope that this wee post keeps you happy.

I almost forgot Danny wanted me to mention that he got a 2 at Balmore - the only one amongst us. He contacted me tonight to ask how much he got for his 2. I said "contact Balmore what do you think I am your personal secretary".

At Balmore there was 20 of us playing 6 par 3s which is 120 attempts and only 1 got a 2.

Sorry I got that wrong Billy never played 5 of his par 3s as he wandered off to Lenzie after getting a 4 at the first one.