ELITE PLAYER MA ARSE !!!

I'M THE BEST IN THE ELITE 

TOUR

I AM 

THE SPECIAL ONE

St Andrews
10th February
The Kittocks

Sunday 9.40am

RC "Game 3 Stevie Paul , John Wynn against Robert Chalmers and Jim Cullen"

SP "Your having a fucking laugh me against the 2C's that's a joke "

SP " I have always said I will never win the Spoon if the C's are playing and I have got 2 of them to PUMP"

SP "I will be able to watch them slap it around and see them slip into the Spoon position"

SP " This day couldn't get any better taking money off the numpty boys "

10.25am

SP " Hey Jim were playing off the ladies tees today that's were you should be playing anyway"

11.10am

Jim has blobbed the first 3 holes and the Elite Boy and his apprentice are 2 up after  5.

RC " Don't worry Jim use your shots and don't force it they will come back "

SP " Told you I'm watching today's Spoon winner in action and getting paid "

12.30pm

"This is how a Elite Player plays are you watching 2C's" 

On the 10th tee we are 2 down but it is John that's doing the damage The Elite player is being carried along in the lead mainly because of Nae Wynns 22 points on the front 9.

SP "Right John we can get this match wrapped up in the next few holes and then I can watch the 2C's sweat it out as they hack their way in"

3 birdies on 10 and the 2C's got 2 of them was this the start of a comeback ?

On the 11th Jim  gets a great 5 into the wind on the tough par 5 for a net 4. We were back to 1.

A birdie on the 13th by me and we were all square.

A par on the 14th by me and a par on 15th by Jim and we were doing some serious damage to Ma Card and Nae Wynn who had went right off his game on the back 9. WE were now 2 up playing 16.

The Elite player had managed to carve 2 balls out of bounds on the 14th and 15th- NIL POINTS.

2.15pm

On the 15th and The Elite player loses another ball

On 16 and with 2 easy pars for the 2C's and 2 slappy bogeys for Mr Elite and Mr Wynn the 2 "Numptys" took off their hats and shook hands with the top Elite player and his partner.

We were 2 down playing 11 and walked off the 16th 3-2 winners 

"How the fuck did that happen mumbled Stevie "?

"We were 2 up a few holes ago "

"Where did that come from "?

"How can it be over "?

"Can't believe we lost "

You didn't just lose you both were .........

HUMPED ,PUMPED AND DUMPED IT WAS A 3-2 WIN TO THE 2C's

The 2C's never broke sweat it was a stroll !

2.20pm

As we walked off the 16th Jim had the biggest grin on his face as he announced "The Elite Boy must be in Spoon territory"

"This day couldn't get any better" he announced to a worried looking Stevie.

2.45pm

On the last and Stevie duffs his second shot 10 yards forward into the fairway bunker and 2 swipes later he was back on the fairway.

Jim the 20+ handicapper hits a screamer of a second shot into the wind just short of the green and Stevie hit his 4th 75 yards left in to crap and another lost ball -NIL POINTS !!

Yes the 2C's had finished the round off in style and with Nae Wynn missing a short putt on the last for a blob he done himself out of the sweep money by 1 point.

Myself and Jimbo had amassed 42 points between us on the back 9.

Were was the Elite Boy?

Well he managed 2 points on the 13th but for the last 5 holes he got a grand total of 3 points!!

A great day that was very nearly a reeeeaaally grrrrreat day but unfortunately THE SPECIAL ONE just managed to avoid the Spoon by 1 lousy point.

Well done Jim we were a good pairing and the 2 C's certainly brought the Elite boy back down into the Hacker territory on Sunday.