THE
HACKERS
CHRISTMAS SPOON BOY
2012
After a hard days work Alex returned home tonight and as he entered his bedroom there lying on the bed was the SPOON all dressed up.
Even his Hackers shirt was all nicely ironed.
All courtesy of his good lady Sheena.
Here is snippets of last nights conversation between them all when he arrived home waving the Spoon proudly as he walked up the path.
"Your no bringing that in here"
"Where is that going to be kept in the house?
"I don't want any of my family or friends seeing that over the Christmas holidays"
"I tell them all your a good golfer who plays all over Scotland with other good golfers and what are you really a bloody Spoon winner"
"Sheena were all Hackers I never said I could actually play the game"
"How long have you got that for ? "
"Just 4 weeks darling".
"Your having a laugh we have got to keep this a secret for 4 weeks"
"Dad can I take a picture of you with the Spoon.? What for Lauren ?
"So I can post it on Facebook"
"Your no posting anything about the bloody Spoon and letting people know your dads a dumpling no way its top secret and doesn't leave this room"
"Look at the tears on Stevens face" Stop laughing Steven now this isn't a laughing matter.
"The shame I hope nobody seen you walking in with that"
"How many played today ?
"28 but only 1 played good that was Bairdy"
"I don't care about Beardy or Bairdy whatever his name is there was 28 players and you were stone bloody last"
"You only had to beat 1 could you no have finished 27th and avoid that thing?
"Wee George got a 4 pointer on the last or I would have beat him"
"What did you get on the last?
"Nothing"
"Was the reason for that?
"I put 2 balls in the wee stream at the green but my drive and second shots before I did that were great"
"Even I know you are meant to put the wee white ball in a hole you idiot"
"The money you spend on golf clubs, balls, swing aids ,special nets in the garden, putting matts in the lounge 24/7, golf videos , books 3 magazines a month and you win a bloody SPOON"
"I missed Strictly on Saturday night because you were standing on front of the telly practising your putting and you were fecking last in a bunch of Hackers"
"Sheena the Hackers is just a name most of the guys are very good golfers especially the Fox he's so steady and will never win the Spoon"
"Big Vera and Ma Card think they will no get it but I their time will come cause there no as good as they think they are."
"What about the other 24 plus players there ?
"Aye well there is some dumplings especially ma White Chimney pals and Big Simon he's been a great golfer in the past but even he's won the Spoon"
"Look at Del Boy he practices his putting every night on differant carpets and he's won the Spoon"
"Sheena babes it could be worse you could be married to Geraldo he's the King Spooner with 4 wins to his name this is only my first "
"If they are Hackers what the hell are you finishing bloody last "
"Dad Craig Chalmers has just posted a picture of you on Facebook standing next to a big Santa with Spoon and wearing a Spoon Boy tee shirt"
"The wee Judas B......d"
"He's getting it"
Magic !!
Well done Sheena you don't want to know what he said when he seen it lying there.
From a golfing point of view any player that gets just
5 points from 10 holes deserves all he gets.
Sheena you now know what he needs from Santa.
A Golf swing !!!
