TRUMPETS OF THE WEEKEND

A GOOD ROGERING FOR FUNFAIR AND SHANKER

HAYSTON GOLF CLUB

Look at these 2 sitting laughing after being humped 7-6 in the Thomson McCrone match on Sunday. They were not laughing when I announced that their result was going on a separate post this week. Tommy said " Nobody else needs to know about this as it's a McCrone thing not a Hackers outing". Aye Right !!!

What a thumping and we will wait to see if Convener and fellow Hacker Peter Ritchie forgives them and keeps them in the team for our next match against Douglas Park.

THE PORKY BOYS

Paul "Vera" James continues to expand since he stopped smoking and when I showed him the photo he said "It's the jumper making me look like that as it's only a medium size and a bit tight now".

The last time you wore a medium jumper was at high school. I asked him if he wanted to be Porky 1 or 2 and he said there was no way he was going to be number 2 to John "Nae" Wynn.

It certainly was nae win for John on Sunday in the Thomson McCrone match at Hayston where him and his partner Stevie "Ma Card "Paul got beat 3-2.

This defeat didn't stop John getting stuck into the pork sausages at the dinner and he point blankly refused to share 6 huge sausages with anyone and took great delight in waving them in Veras's nose.

So I think I will rename them PORTLY AND PORKY.

PORKY NUMBER 1

PORKY NUMBER 2

HACKERS COUNTY PLAYER

Craig has a good weekend in the wind.

After winning the Gents medal on Saturday with a Gross 70 net 67 in horrendous conditions Craig then headed to Vale of Leven on Sunday for the first County Boys Match of the season. He is now in the under 18 squad and played at number 2 against Lanarkshires James Steven who has a handicap of +1 and a Scottish Squad player. Craig won 2 up after being 1 down with 3 to go. The team had a great start to their season by wining 7-1.

Article below is from Scottish Golf View.

BIG WIN FOR DUNBARTONSHIRE BOYS AGAINST LANARKSHIRE

Dunbartonshire boys had a resounding 7-1 victory today at Vale of Leven over Lanarkshire boys in their first West of scotland League fixture of 2011.

RESULTS

Under-18s

1. Cameron Farrell (Cardross) bt Jordan Bryce (Strathaven) 5 and 4.

2. Craig Chalmers (Lenzie) bt James Steven (Bothwell Castle) 2 holes.

3. Gavin Roger (Clober) bt Ross Gillan (Torrance) 2 and 1.

4. Euan Ferguson (Bearsden) bt Ross McLeish (Torrance) 6 and 5.

Under-16s

1. Robert Johnston ( Helensburgh)' lost to Innes Ferguson (Drumpellier) 4 and 3.

2. Keiran McHale (Clydebank) bt Calum Connacher (Wishaw) 3 and 2.

3. Cameron Kirkwood (Bearsden) bt Matt Brennan (Kirkhill) 8 and 7.

4. Chris Maclean (Clydebank) bt Jay Hainie (Bothwell) 4 and 3.

Willie Sharpe

President

Lanarkshire Golf Association

HI HO IT'S OFF TO LENZIE WE GO

BILBO AWOL.

After starting with triple bogey then a bogey Billy decided to leave Balmore at the 3rd and head off to Lenzie to see if he could start the medal their with a par.

A score of 77 +11 at Lenzie clearly shows he continued to slap it about and play like a donkey there also.

THE BALMORE DIDDY

Gentlemen I was going to keep this post for another day but I have had Danny Totten emailing , texting and now phoning me wanting me to tell all about Stevie "ma card doesn't work on the computer" Paul. So here we go the story of the Balmore Diddy.

For the benefit of all who were not there on Saturday I will explain the procedure for entering your score at BALMORE GOLF CLUB GENTS OPEN. On completing your round you were instructed to go to their computer which was the same as ours then go to the index and find your name as all entrants were on the file. Then you entered your score at BALMORE GOLF CLUB - simple.

Well it's simple for most people but we Hackers have some crackers and boy did this hacker let the side down.

While most of us were sitting having a drink and eating in comes Stevie and walks up to me to and makes a big mistake by waving his LENZIE GOLF CLUB card in my direction. He then utters the now famous "MA CARD DOESN'T WORK WHAT WILL I DO" ??

"Your at fucking Balmore of course your Lenzie card won't work on their computer" I said to him. He quickly realised what a tit he had made of himself and tried to retract his words but to late Danny Balaclava had over heard this and well that was that.

I just hope for everyones sake that no members from any other clubs were waiting to put their scores in as our trumpet head was swiping his LENZIE GC card up and down the BALMORE GC machine trying to get his name to appear. What a boy !!!!

So Stevie it makes a change for the diddy award to be for something other than playing shite at golf. It was a good laugh as you set yourself up for a wee diddy post on the web site.

I did ask for Stevie to pose yesterday at Hayston with his membership card but he refused to cooperate.

So there you go Danny I hope that this wee post keeps you happy.

I almost forgot Danny wanted me to mention that he got a 2 at Balmore - the only one amongst us. He contacted me tonight to ask how much he got for his 2. I said "contact Balmore what do you think I am your personal secretary".

At Balmore there was 20 of us playing 6 par 3s which is 120 attempts and only 1 got a 2.

Sorry I got that wrong Billy never played 5 of his par 3s as he wandered off to Lenzie after getting a 4 at the first one.

SHOW'S YA DOES THE BUISNESS

Results

Ian Baird 68

Robert Chalmers 71

John Sommerville 72

Paul James 73

Stevie Paul 74

David Graham 75

Andrew Alexander 75

Alex Smart 76

Ian Hutchison 76

Danny Totten 76

Kenny Lang 81

Kevin McKinney 82

Neil Keir 85

Derek Mitchell 87

John Hamilton NR 17

Brian Newall NR 16

George Leadbitter NR 14

Davie Drew NR 7

Stevie McPherson NR ?

BILLY GIBSON NR 3

PAR 66 CSS 71 !!!

The above css tells you just how tough conditions were on Saturday at Balmore. Gales and frequent heavy showers made it tough for everyone.

Some suffered more than others but Ian "show's ya" Baird played great golf and won the Balmore Open first class competition with a +2 total of 68. Well done Ian great shooting and he also took first place in our own sweep winning £25.00. In second place was myself winning £15.00.

The weather ruined the scores of nearly a third of our players and they carded letters at the bottom of their score cards.

Six players had NR'S but the one who took the award for having a early bath was Billy "Bilbo" Gibson with a walk off at the 3rd not even putting out on the hole. After having a 7 at the first Billy decided that it was the club house for him but we then found out he was off to Lenzie to play the medal there.

He went on to shoot 11 over at Lenzie ! What was he thinking by leaving Balmore - maybe the wind wasn't as strong at Lenzie just 3 miles away.

All other players finished the round.

There was a suggestion made at Balmore that if a player NR'S in any competition they have to pay £1.00 into a kitty and all proceeds go towards prizes for this years summer outing at Auchterader.

So the decision was made to go with this suggestion so from 30th May that is the rule.

Other facts from Balmore.

Kevin McKinney made a good attempt to beat Davy Grahams record of a 10 at a par 3 by having 8 blows himself just missing out. At the second hole (par 3)George Leadbitter had a very good 7 just getting his tee shot to jump over the wall 20 yards away. George also got the award for shortest drive at the 11th as the ball went just 20 yards and to make matters worse he lost the ball.

Big Neil Keir our winter champion was devastated when told he only got 18 shots as that was the maximum. " I'm 23 not 18" he told the official. Tough that's all your getting he was told. The "Mexican" went onto have 103 shots around the course. Is Neil just a winter player we must all be asking ourselves now. His answer was "It was not a stableford competition "!

The course was in great condition and as usual it was presented very tidy and well kept - a great round of golf for just £10.00. It was a pity the weather was so wild and it was to get worse 24 hours later a lot worse.

More to follow and photos from Balmore including Porky 1 , George's longest drive and Kenny finally gets his Hee Haw head cover.

We also break the news of just who was the biggest DIDDY at Balmore.

CLASS CHAMPS

2011 Class Championship

Lenzie Golf Club

Andrew Alexander win 2nd Class Champs against fellow Hacker Graham Dickie.

Pictured together before the start of their final.

Congratulations to Andrew on his victory.

CLASS CHAMPS UPDATE

Semi Final Update

Thursday 26th May

Second Class Winners

Andrew Alexander

Graham Dickie

It's a all Hackers Final on Sunday.

Best of luck to both and congratulations to both on reaching the final.

MATCH AGAINST THE ELITE SQUAD.

I have been speaking to Scott Penman and we are trying to organise a match during August at Lenzie. It will probably be a Sunday and there will be 16 players in each team. As discussed at the start of last years tour the best 16 scores at the end would be selected to play.The current rule is only Lenzie players are eligible to play but that might change and then Neil would come into the team.

I will keep you all updated on the date. If anyone is unable to play then the next in line moves up.

TOP 16 PLAYERS FROM TOUR 2010/11

S Paul 179

C Chalmers 175

G Cullen 173

B Newall 169

A Alexander 167

J Sommerville 165

S McPherson 165

D Graham 165

P James 164

J Wylie 162

M Drummond 162

J Cullen 160

B Gibson 160

S Kennedy 160

D Mitchell 160

T Nicholson 159

RESERVES

I Hutchison

RChalmers

A Smart

CLASS CHAMPS UPDATE

WINNERS IN TONIGHT'S QUARTER FINAL

First Class

Ian Fox

Second Class

Graham Dickie

Peter Ritchie

Andrew Alexander

Good luck to all in Thursday night's semi finals.

Players tee times for Balmore this Saturday.

Ian Hutchison 7.57

Kenny Lang 9.09

Kevin McKinney 9.09

Alex Smart 9.18

George Leadbitter 9.27

Robert Chalmers 9.27

Paul James 9.36

Davie Drew 9.36

Stevie Paul 9.45

Danny Totten 9.45

Brian Newall 9.54

John Sommerville 10.03

Billy Gibson 10.03

Ian Baird 10.15

John Hamilton 10.15

Andrew Alexander 10.24

Derek Mitchell 10.24

Neil Keir 10.33

David Graham 10.33

Stevie McPherson 10.51

All entry fees have been paid and the following owe me £10.00 each

Andrew Alexander

Derek Mitchell

Ian Baird

George Leadbitter

John Hamilton

Sweep £2.00 each and split £25/£15 for best 2 net scores.

Money will be gathered as each player finishes.

Hopefully the weather improves I don't think it can get much worse !!

All the people who thought the lad in yellow was Sinky or Hutch were wrong.

It is JIM CULLEN with George Innes on his shoulder.

Sinky looks like Hutch ????

BAD BOYS

WHO IS THE YOUNG LAD IN YELLOW ?

The Wham look even reached Lenzie as these bad boys strutted their stuff. One was even called George the other is ...........

Frightening to think the song below is 28 years old and we were Whamming it upstairs in Caspers on a Friday/Saturday night 3 decades ago. Scary stuff indeed.

Sinky and Big Davie G are 50 this year - so in another 28 years they will be 78 now that is scary !!!

I don't think anyone needs a clue to work out who handsome is but I will give you one anyway.

He is the current leader of the pack but got humped 6/5 yesterday.

SMARTY'S NEW VENTURE ????

We all know how Alex loves his food especially pies, beans, chips, toasties, soup , rolls with anything in fact he eats anything apart from fish but that's another story.

So here we have Smarty's Cafe selling all the stuff he likes.

WEEKEND REPORT

Class Champs and Saturday Medal.

Congratulations to the following who all won on Sunday and progress to Tuesday's quarter final.

First Class

Ian Hutchison

Ian Fox

George Leadbitter

Second Class

Graham Dickie

Peter Ritchie

Andrew Alexander

Derek Mitchell

Good Luck to all on Tuesday.

Our sole representative in the third class category was Jim Cullen but unfortunately Jim had a few to many beers on Saturday night while celebrating the footy result from the Scottish Cup.

Having found him, Totts and a few others in Carriages I later sent his big brother Geraldo a text telling him that Jim would be lucky to see a golf ball in the morning never mind hit it with a club.

Unfortunately for Jim it was a early bath on Sunday even with his brothers support on the course.

Saturday Medal

Only one member had a round worth mentioning and a very good round it was.

I was playing with Johnny S in terrible conditions especially the last 8 holes which makes his net 61 even more impressive.

The rain was relentless on our way back in and Johnny held it all together to the finish and also bagging 2 -2s to the bargain. A great solid round from John resulting in a full shot off his handicap.

Next weekend is our first Open Competition of the year and we are off to Balmore on Saturday. Everyone entered should have their times but I will post them on the site later in the week.

We will run a £2.00 sweep with the money split between the 2 best net scores. There are 20 players playing so we will go with a £25.00/£15.00 split.

Hopefully the weather improves this week and we get some decent golf conditions.

Also next Sunday sees the Thomson McCrone team resume their matches and are away to Hayston and hopefully more points.

Seven out of the 10 players in the team are from the Hackers.

Stevie Paul

John Wynn

Tommy Nicholson

Mick Drummond

George Leadbitter

Paul James

Robert Chalmers

The other 3 players are Bruce Finney, Davy McRoberts and Davy Mathers.

Since I posted the auld photo of Kenny and Lucky racing together I have been sent some more photos of Hackers in their younger days along with requests for them to be posted for all to see. Later on I will post a photo of a young Hacker for you all to guess who he is.

All photos are welcome and I know Kenny is digging out some for revenge !!!

Golf ?? No chance

DANNY'S EXCUSE FOR THIS WEEKS NRNow we know why Mr T walked in when only 2 over in the medal - his good wife was unhappy at 4 days consecutive of golf.

SQUEEK SQUEEK.

LINK TO BASIL'S CHARITY DAY

http://original.justgiving.com/floridians

Above link is to Ian's Longest Golf Day on the 20th June. He is playing 72 holes in one day for MacMillan Cancer Support with some mates.They have 2 rounds on Lenzie and 2 on Crow Wood to complete on the one day.

Let's support Ian as all money raised goes to a very good cause.

All the best Ian hope you have a good day.

KENNY'S NEW FOUR LEGGED PAL

Winter Tour Hacker Kenny "Hee Haw" Lang has dumped his donkey and is off and galloping with his new pal Lucky the race horse. After seeing some of his medal scores this season he needs all the luck he can get. Our current worst net medal score holder with 85 blows is obviously happy riding either donkeys or horses in his year of being the Hackers Tour Donkey Champion.

BEST NET SCORES

MAY 15TH

SUB PAR CLUB

Jim Cullen 60

Craig Chalmers 61

Derek Mitchell 61

Kevin McKinney 61

Jim Cullen 62

Kevin McKinney 62

Craig Chalmers 63

Tommy Nicholson 63

Andrew Alexander 64

Robert Chalmers 64

George Leadbitter 64

Ian Hutchison 65

Robert Chalmers 65

Tommy Nicholson 65

Brian Stewart 65

Derek Mitchell 65

Craig Chalmers 65

Robert Chalmers 65

Jim Cullen 65

There has been 19 under par rounds and if I have missed anyone please let me know. Current leaders with 3 rounds each are Jim, Craig and myself and Tommy ,Kevin and Derek on 2 each.

WEEKEND UPDATE

CLASS CHAMPIONSHIP QUALIFIERS

Congratulations to all below.

1st Class

Ian Hutchison

Ian Fox

John Sommerville

George Leadbitter

Brian Stewart

Tommy Nicholson

Billy Gibson

2nd Class

Graham Dickie

Mick Drummond

Peter Ritchie

David Graham

Andrew Alexander

Derek Mitchell

Stevie McPherson

3rd Class

Jim Cullen

This years knockout rounds start on Sunday the 22nd and good luck to all.

Scores from Sat/Sun

Sub Par Rounds (66)

Craig Chalmers 61 ( 65 - new hackers gross score record)

Tommy Nicholson 63

George Leadbitter 64

Ian Hutchison 65

Robert Chalmers 65

Propping up the field (80+net)

Kenny Lang 96 - 81

Jim Cullen 108 - 80

Robert Chalmers 89 - 80

DIDDYS OF THE WEEKEND !

There were 2 diddys this weekend and the first to be nominated is Paul "Vera " James for shooting 2 rounds of 66 and 69 to qualify easily. Unfortunately for the plonker he never signed his card on Sunday and was disqualified.

The second dick of the weekend was myself. I played my worst golf for many a year and at one point I was convinced I was going to beat Kenny's current net record of 85 but some how I finished just outside that one.

The 2nd had sh..k followed by skying my drive on the 3rd. On the 4th I seriously challenged big Davy's record for a par 3 (10) and walked of with a good 7.

I was asked how did you get a 7 I said because I missed the putt for a 6 !

From there on I got worse !

All the bad stuff was out there on my Saturday round and it was one of these rounds were every club was like swinging a sock full of jelly. We all get days when the putter or driver are off and we struggle round but when everything goes it is complete melt down and all you want is off the bloody course. A day from hell on the course and not one I want to repeat again for a while.

Just 24 hours later I shot 65 and failed to qualify by 2 shots!

It's a funny old game.

I don't have the results from the weekend as How Did I Do seems to be missing them so if I have missed anyone out from the qualifying list etc let me know.

Thomson McCrone Update

Current League Positions at Sunday 15th

Lenzie played 2 - 4 points

Bishopbriggs played 4 - 4 points

Douglas Park played 3 - 3 points

Hayston played 3 - 2 points

Next match for Lenzie 29th May at Lenzie.

ROCKY HAS A KNOCKOUT ROUND

NEW HACKERS NET COURSE RECORD - 60

Jim Cullen last night became the new record holder for the best net score this season. After getting a negative post yesterday Jim answered his critics in the best way possible by shooting his best score ever in a medal.

Jim shot 85 less 25 for a net 60 and got his handicap reduced to 22.6. Due to his earlier net score of 62 he has now reduced his handicap from 28 at the start of the season to nearly 22 and the season is only 7 weeks in. This was also the first time Jim has broken 90 and he did it in style. If he hadn't got a 4 at the last a sub 60 would have been on. Well done Jim your having some great golf and this shows us your 40 points at Southerness wasn't a fluke but a indication just how wrong your handicap was.

Continue like this Jim you could end up with a handicap lower than your big brother Geraldo - wouldn't that be something to tell the kids !!!

Davy Graham also showed us he has recovered from his 10 at the 6th on Sunday by shooting his best score of the season for a net 66.

Jamie Carroll finished runner up to Jim and broke par for the first time this season with a net 65. I wonder what he would have shot if he had not sat in the bar for 2 hours drinking before going out ?

Danny Totten showed us that he can make it over the road to the 7th tee and finish 18 holes by shooting 68. It could have been better but he listened to "Vera" James while playing the 7th from the 16th fairway.

Danny had a 6 iron out only to be told by Vera it's only a 7 and Danny stupidly took his advice and changed to a 7 - result came up way short.

Lesson for Danny - don't take advice from a man who has just put NR on his card as he was playing rubbish and had lost 3 balls in 15 holes !!

The NR King returned last night and Vera James carded his second of the season which is very good for him considering his record.

Kenny's Record Survives

Players attack Kenny's Record

On Sunday afternoon in the medal Vajiner and Rocky known also as Davy Graham and Jim Cullen both made valiant attempts to break Kenny's net record for the Hackers this season.

With Kenny's record currently way up there at 85 shots both Jim and Davy hacked their way round only to somehow par the odd hole in between the 10's and 13's shots at some holes. Their efforts resulted in a net 81 for Jim and 80 for David.

Jim's score of 106 is now the gross record and his 13 at a par 4 also - congratulations to Jim.

Davids 10 at a par 3 also is now there to be beaten.

The net record is a better indication of how players have played.

So Kenny's 85 remains untouchable at this moment in time.

That record would have been under threat by another member a few weeks ago when he had 97 shots for just 17 holes and letters on the other 1. The player in question wasn't a high handicapper so there would not have been many shots off his 97+ blows if he had completed the full 18. Who was that person ?

DEL BOY SHOOTS 61

MAY MEDALS SO FAR

Sub Par rounds after Tuesday and Saturday are:

Derek Mitchell 61

Andrew Alexander 64

Robert Chalmers 64

Craig Chalmers 65

On Saturday Derek equaled Kevin McKinney's April record of 61 and has seen some steady golf this year reduce his handicap to 16. Derek certainly had a round of two halves on Saturday by shooting 33 out- only 1 over par and returning in 45 for a gross 78 less 17 making his net 61.

No real high scores to report but there a few NR'S going about so I will be keeping a eye on the letter men. I am not naming anyone at this moment but I see one player had 100 shots for 16 holes and another had 97 for 17 holes.

Next weekend is the Class Championship Qualifiers over 36 holes.

Good luck to all.

HAGRIDS REVENGE

Big Stevie bites back at Billy 'Bilbo's' comments with regards his golf scores or lack of them.

THE WISHBONE TRAVELS NORTH

ROYAL DORNOCH

Johnny 'Wishbone' Sommerville became the first hacker this summer to be in the prizes at a Open competition.

Travelling northwards on his annual Dornoch trip John surprised not just himself but the rest of the field by finishing 6th and winning £40.00 in the scratch - 12 category. John shot a very good score of 82 less 9 for a net 73 and with css being 75 he gets a nice .4 reduction.

The conditions were obviously tough and windy with the css being 75 just like Lenzies going up also for the first time on Saturday due to the strong winds. John has started May in fine form now can he transfer that game to Lenzie and put himself into the Top Dog for May award ?

OTHER ITEMS

In last nights Tuesday medal it was interesting to see that big Hagrid seems to have sneezed the NR disease over his buddy Bilbo as Billy last night had a no return. This was maybe revenge for Stevie as Billy has been telling all just how bad the big man has been playing.

A word of warning about balls disappearing on the course between the 9th and 12th. There has been birds picking up balls from the course and disappearing with them and myself and Gordon watched as one landed 80 yards from my ball a few weeks ago and picked it up and took off right in front of us. Numerous players have now lost balls from the fairways as the black crows have swooped in and removed them.

Last night in the medal Craig and David Lynsey both hit their balls out to the right at 12 and we saw them bounce onto the 11th. Walking up there was only 1 ball - Davids. Craig went back up 11 and asked the men playing there if they had played his ball. They said no but confirmed the 2 balls were sitting quite close together. Not having seen the ball being lifted and disappear he had no option but go back and play 3 off the tee. He got a 6 with the 2 penalty shots and went on to shoot 3 over having been level on the 12th tee. I got Bill Kilpatrick to confirm the ruling and he felt as we hadn't seen the ball disappear or being picked up he had to take the penalty. A bad break as both the other 2 players had confirmed his ball was sitting fine.

So be aware it is happening on a regular basis between the 9th-12th.

With all this going on the 2 players behind us we waived through as Craig went back to the tee and they proceeded by us only for one of them to hit my ball which was down at the 100 yard marker and not realise till he was putting out on the 12th. I was walking down the 12th fairway looking for my ball and it was also now gone !!!. He came back up to us and replaced my ball. Total disaster on the 12th last night for both the C's last night as I ended up with a 7 from 100 yards and was only 4 over playing the hole.

Lesson from last night

Watch out for black birds and diddy's hitting the wrong ball.

Thomson McCrone Update

Lenzie 4 points

Hayston 2 points

Bishopbriggs 2 points

Douglas Park 1 point

GOLFER OF THE MONTH

APRIL'S TOP DOG.

This months top golfer is Kevin McKinney.

Records

Net score 61 Kevin

Gross score 67 Craig

Highest gross 100 Kenny

Since the start of the season below par rounds have been hard to achieve by most hackers so Kevin's rounds of 61 and 62 clearly put him at the top for this month.

Kevin's 61 is currently the Hackers net score record. Will it be beaten this season ????

The new layout of par 66 has been a lot harder to score on than most thought at the start especially the 5th up the Alma. The green at the 4th can be a bit of a lottery and I myself have 3 putted it on numerous occasions. The new 18th is also a hole where club selection is difficult and we have yet to play that hole into a really strong wind rather than down wind like this weekend.

Other players scoring well this month include

Jim Cullen 62

Craig Chalmers 63 ( shot 67 gross - currently the Hackers gross record)

At the other end of the scale some of the Hackers have yet to find their swing and some high scores by the following show they have room for improvement.

Kenny Lang our current Donkey for the winter is obviously struggling to get off the donkeys back and is the current leader with a 100 shots for 1 round ( a net score of 85 +19 over par). Kenny also has a 98 to his name but in recent days has shown improvement and a net 70 shows us that he might have one arse cheek off the donkey.

Will anyone shoot over 100 gross this season ????

Other high Gross shooters are John Wynn 90 ,David Graham 91 and 2 time spoon winner Gerry Cullen had 90 blows in last Tuesday's medal. I myself have had a couple of stinkers and with a 85 on my card last Tuesday I decided to have a few days off which resulted in a net 65 to break par for the first time this season on Saturday. Quite a few players have been around par or 1 under but getting 4 and 5 under seems very difficult at this moment.

At least the above players are completing their round and entering a score at the bottom of the card and not letters.

Stevie "Hagrid" McPherson has now completed 4 medals with a NR on his card and therefore I have made a decision to name him Donkey of the month as he must have been playing some horrendous golf out there to NR 4 times. This has been confirmed by Billy Gibson his playing partner on most of these rounds that he did play shocking. Would he have shot more than 100 shots ?? Billy's reply " Aye quite comfortably" Another NR man is Graham Dickie with 2 rounds to his name so far this season. The NR King is of course Paul 'Vera '' James but Paul has resisted putting letters on his card this season and we wait to see how long this lasts.

So come on Stevie lets see numbers at bottom of your card and that will give us a true picture of how bad you are playing.

On the Team front a lot of the Hackers are representing the club in the Thomson McCrone League and also the Jessiman Team.

In the Thomson McCrone a good half match away at Douglas Park was followed up with a excellent win at home against Hayston. Stevie Paul and John Wynn yesterday had the most impressive win of the season so far by winning 5/4 in their match. They were backed up with wins from George Leadbitter and Bruce Finney winning 2 up as well as myself and Alex Smart winning 1 up on the last. Other Hackers playing yesterday were Tommy Nicholson and Mick Drummond who fought hard for a half match. Unfortunely Davy Chalmers and Graham Dickie lost on the 17th 2/1 but once again gave their opponents a hard match.

It's great to see so many Hackers playing in the Thomsom McCrone Team and as I said to Peter Ritchie I think playing the Tour and outings have definitely over the last few years built a good spirit in the team. The last 2 years have seen us win our section twice and last year reach the final of the knock out stages only to lose to Milingavie in a very tight final. Who knows how we will do this year but our first aim is to win our section and hopefully progress to the next rounds.

In the Jessiman match the 8 man team was made up of 7 Hackers which again shows how well we represent the club in team events. Unfortunately we did not progress very far this year. In the first match Jim Wylie and George Leadbitter came from 3 holes down to finishing just 1 down ( it's holes up ). In the second game myself and Billy Gibson won 2 up but the last 2 games were heavily defeated by a couple of pairings from Douglas Park who were on fire. The other players representing the club were Ian Hutchison, Davie Drew and John Sommerville.

So now onto May and all the singles, 4 ball and 2 ball games to arrange and play. This month also sees the Class Championships and I have no doubt there will be plenty of Hackers qualifying for their relevant categories.

At the end of May we have the Balmore Open and there are 21 of us playing. Tee times to follow later.

Anyone who is not entered can contact Graham Henderson at Balmore and give him your details. Explain you are from Lenzie and you want to go out around the same time as all the rest. I think we are going to be from 9.30-10.30. Cost £10.00.

Our Summer outing is currently full with 33 players. Polo shirt colour still to be confirmed and some alterations to the names as Vajiner and Adolf are not accepting theirs !!!

Enjoy your golf this month gents.