DOCTOR DOCTOR I NEED HELP

HUTCHY VISITS THE DOCTOR FOR A PUTTING LESSON !!!!

The real reason for Hutchy winning the Spoon.

I have resisted posting this news until I had it confirmed by the player himself as it is unbelievable and I thought Mr Sinclair was taking the piss.

We all know the wee Drain Cleaner as he is now known in the Tour had the pleasure of winning the Spoon at our final winter Tour event. He has flirted very close on several occasions this season to winning this much desired award. None more so than at Southerness where he avoided it on count back and saved himself a long walk from Dumfries as he had told us to shove the spoon up our rear ends.

So at Ladybank he finally got his hands on the Spoon.

"I hit the ball great but I couldn't putt,"

" I kept missing the hole by 2 inches at each hole."

The above statements are from Winston (his substitute nick name) after he finished.

Obviously he was not a happy chappy at getting this award. The following day after long discussions with his beloved wife Jennifer he decided to visit the doctor.

"I'm telling you Jennifer there is something wrong with me I am a great putter and I putted like a total fanny at Ladybank."

"I think I will go and see the doctor and get him to check me out"

So off he goes on Monday morning to see the doctor about his bad putting !!!!!

I must emphasise that this is not bull shit and the best is yet to come.

On telling the doctor of his putting woes and winning the spoon the doctor said" Ian I want to do a quick test"

The doctor then produces a fucking putter and ball from behind his desk and asks Winston to putt to a mark on the carpet. After a few putts he asks him to sit down.

Gents this is a doctors surgery remember not the fucking World of Golf or the driving range!!!

He then proceeded to have a look at Winston's ears and uttered the words

"I KNOW WHY YOU PUTTED BADLY YOU HAVE A EAR INFECTION CAUSING YOU TO PUTT 2 INCHES OFF LINE DUE TO A IN BALANCE BETWEEN YOUR EARS."

I repeat myself again Gents this is in the doctors surgery where the doctor keeps putters and Pro V's behind his desk for zoomers who can't putt!!!!

Hutch went to see the doctor because he won the spoon.

You could not make it up.

So now Gents now you know why Hutch won the spoon - a ear infection was causing him to miss the hole with his putts. What was he wanting extra points for having wax in his ears ????

As far as we are all concerned you won the spoon because you played rubbish just like every other winner of the spoon during the season.

Anyway Hutchy your infection must be better as you played very well a few weeks ago to finish second in the County Spring Meeting. So well done to the Wee Drain Cleaner.

If your ears stay uninfected you might get rid of the spoon at Auchterader in July.

BUCHANAN CASTLE MEETING

THE CAKE MUNCHERS

After today's golf at Buchanan Castle Mr Sinclair, Mr Newall and Mr James decided that all players requesting shirts should have a name below the logo.

While stuffing their faces with large slabs of cake they came up with names for some players and they are now entered below.

They also decided that Mr Gibson was not getting Gibby and changed his to Bilbo. Also John Wynn was not getting a boring thing like John Wynn so he got his changed to No Wynn.

They are away home to think up more for the others. If you are not happy with yours then let me know and I can pass your complaint on to the cake munchers.

Check out the names in the previous posting.

More to be added soon.

AUCHTERARDER 2011

NAMES FOR OUTING

Date - 31st July

First Tee Time - 11.04 and we have to play 3 balls.

Spaces - 33 players (11 tee times)

Cost - £35.00 Golf and £13.00 for all food.

All the usual prizes plus team prize for best 3 man team.

Team total will be the 3 combined stableford points of each player in the team.

All players must putt out - no gimmes.

R Chalmers -L - SKIPPY

C Chalmers -M - THE WEAN

G Sinclair - L - THE PIE MAN

B Newall - M - THE WELSHMAN

A Smart -XL - MCFLURRY

I Fox - M - BASIL

D Drew -XL - THE IRON MAN

K Lang - L - HEE HAW

S Kennedy -M - SKITTY

G Cullen - XXL - ADOLF

G Dickie -XL - BOABY

D Totten -M - BALACLAVA

J Hamilton - TOM TOM

J Cullen - L - ROCKY

B Gibson - L - BILBO

K McKinney - L - FOGGY

J Sommerville - L - WISHBONE

J Wynn - XL - NAE WYNN

I Hutchinson - THE DRAINCLEANER

P James - XL - VERA

D Graham - L- VAJINER

J Wylie - S - DAFFY DILL

J Carroll - L - JACKIE D

G Leadbitter - M - GENERAL GEORGE

D Mitchell - XL - DEL BOY

A Alexander - L - BREAKDOWN

T Nicholson -L- SHANKER

M Drummond - XXL - FUN FAIR

D Stirling - L- YORKIE

I Baird - SHOWS YA

N Keir - THE MEXICAN

P Ritchie - L- MABOZZA

S Paul - XL - NAE SPOON

33 Players

OUTING IS NOW FULL

Players who can't make the outing but require a shirt

Stevie McPherson is a XXL - HAGRID

John Carslaw is a MED - MOSES

Kenny Lang wants another large shirt with klang on it.

Can you check the size of the shirt requested and if it is not correct then let me know asap. The names with no size next to their name have yet to let me know if they want one and what size.

If you would like your name or nickname on the shirt it is £3.00 extra. If you want this done the again let me know asap.

LOGO FOR SHIRTS

Below is the proposed logo for the shirts.