THE YEAR OF THE MALKY

Great Memories from Warmer Times

Afternoon Everyone

Like everyone else I am snow bound in the house even more so for me as I have crutches. So I have decided to post some photos from Florida 2005 .

This was The Year of The Malky with his 2 holes in 1 on consecutive days making the National newspapers here in Scotland.

Hopefully these will brighten up a bleak day.

The first Hole in one

Not for family viewing.

Mr Brian Newell letting it

ALL hang out.
Team photo after the first

hole one

Hole in 1 number 1

Number 2

even the cart girls were happy for him

Brian impersonating Malky

with the facial and ear hair prominent.

Final Photos

Mr Paul is all smiles now

He wasn't that happy on the

14th

SCOTSCRAIG

The list for Powfoot that I posted on the 4th of

November has been updated and so has Elie.

I will post the names for Dundonald

in the next few days. If weather continues

I don't see the point in going down to Powfoot.

At best it will be winter greens.

We will see how things go next week.

There is a spare weekend on the

13th of March and we can move it to

then.

We all know who that is and

what he has won.

The Cullen family have now

won the spoon 3 times out

of the last 5 rounds.

Nearest the pin at the 6th

David Chalmers

Nearest the pin at the 13th

Brian Newell

Time to relax some other

diddy has won the spoon.

A VIEW FROM INSIDE THE BUGGY

St Andrews

2010

THE OPEN

STEVIE PAUL MISSES A PUTT TO WIN THE BRITISH OPEN !!!!

Above picture shows you just how much

he was trying. The putt was for 1 point on a par 5.

HE MISSED -WHAT A FUD

It was at this point he told

Hammy to take the match as he wanted to

concentrate on his own game.
Alex mumbling another

f-----g blob and I have

not even putted yet on

this f-----g hole !!!!!
Hammy putting for a 7

HE MISSED !!!

He was only 60 yards from the green in 2

Ended up with A SNOWMAN

Awesome stuff big guy.

Top marks for entertaining me

on Sunday.

A DAY AT THE GOLF WITH THE HACKERS

As you all know, unfortunately I am unable to play golf at this moment due to knee surgery but on Sunday I decided to go along and be entertained from inside the buggy.

As I watched the first few games tee off I witnessed Derek hit his drive 20 yards on the first. I thought definite spoon material, but all credit to Del he ended up being 1 of only 9 players who would get more than 30 points.

It was bitterly cold as I set off out to see the first few games as the rest waited on their tee time. The first game I caught up with was the 3rd game out. Jim Stirling and Kenny Lang were also in a buggy and they were up against Gerry Cullen and David Stirling. Jim sank a 30 footer for a birdie 2 only to then see David get up and down for a 3 net 2.

I went out to the 6th and watched the games come by.

Game 2 with Jim Cullen, John Hamilton,Tommy Nicholson and Stevie Paul. Hammy walked up the 5th and informed me he had started with 4 zero pointers (blobs) and he was really struggling to find any game. Tommy was going great at this stage and so was Jim who

proceeded to hit a great shot at the 6th which was a nearest the pin hole.

The games kept coming by and it was evident early on that there was some poor scoring going on and our man in form Geraldo Cullen had already got 2 blobs on his card after 5 holes.

Sinky, Derek, Alex and Craig came by next and both Craig and Gordon hit very good irons into the heart of the green. Gordon was only 3 inches outside Jim's marker. Gordon and Derek were 4 down in their match to Alex and Craig after 5 holes !

The next game finished the 5th with only 3 players as Graham Dickie drove up the wrong fairway then proceeded to get lost, allowing Andrew, John Carslaw and John Cummins to finish before he got back to them. A nil pointer on that hole for Mr Dickie.

Other players struggling along at this point included Stevie (I WILL NEVER WIN THE SPOON) Paul and unfortunately things were about to get even worse for him. George Leadbitter , Graham Dickie and Kenny Lang were all showing signs of concern by the 6th hole.

Players going well at this stage were Jim Stirling, Tommy, Andrew Alexander and young Craig Chalmers.

AT THE TURN

Hammy 7 points

Graham 8

Kenny 9

George 9

Gerry 9

Stevie 11

The best at the turn were Andrew and Tommy with 20 points and Jim. Craig and a few others were on 17/16.

Then the fun started as Stevie Paul's game got a whole lot worse and he was right in pole position for the Wooden Spoon.

How funny it is to watch grown men cut across from hole to hole to check what other players have and cheer when they hear that someone is having a bad day.

Here are some of the comments:

Hammy asked Stevie "what's the state of play in the match" to which Stevie replied "I don't give a fuck about the match, you take it. Here is £3.00, just fuck off and let me concentrate on my own game".

"Is Gerry playing shite?" "Totally," I replied. "Bastard, I knew he would. I should have had a bet with him again this week". Jim grinning from ear to ear at his brother's woeful total.

The match with Stevie and Hammy halved the 14th with 7's and Hammy got an 8! He was only 60 yards from the green in 2 and got an 8 - great to watch, awesome stuff.

On the same hole, Stevie had a putt for a single point and he missed. The picture above shows his reaction to missing it. You would think he had missed a putt to win the Open - this was real pressure and Stevie was right in the shit at this stage. But credit due, Stevie dug in and got 9 points in the last 3 holes to save face this time.

"I will never win the Spoon" - Ma arse. Watch this space, gents.

Also in this game, the leader at the turn, Tommy Nicholson, was scoring nothing like he did in the front 9 and he was to drop way down the leader board with only 9 points to be added to his front 9.

Jim Stirling was playing steady golf and when Kenny Lang got a 4 pointer at 14 it pulled him out of the mire.

Jim was also involved in running across from the 9th to the 10th to Jim Cullen's buggy, grabbing the keys and then tossing them down the fairway. Jim shouted the usual - "fuck off you wanker Stirling" and ran back to get the keys. I said to Jim, you're lucky he threw them down the fairway, a few years ago he would have flung them in the gorse bushes.

Coming along behind was Gerry and he was in all sorts of shit with not one part of his game working. The points total was desperate and slowly word filtered round the course that Gerry was playing shite and his score was in the low teens. This seemed highly amusing to a lot of people and plenty of back slapping and cheering rang out around the course. The players who were in trouble themselves seemed to relax and put some distance between themselves and Geraldo who was by now just wanting off the course and the comfort of a plate of soup.

Hammy, George and Graham managed to rally in the last few holes and secure enough points to escape the Spoon.

At the front of the leader board Craig was having a very strong back 9 in tough conditions and he racked up 20 points. Andrew dropped points in the last few holes allowing Craig to pip him at the post with BIH.

The early leader in the clubhouse was Neil Keir with 35 points and that was good enough for 3rd overall .

Well done to all. I enjoyed my day and, as I said to Gordon when we got home, I couldn't have watched that entertainment on the television. So a big thank you to all for the afternoon's entertainment.

I will post some more photos soon and a list for Powfoot. First tee time is 10.28am on 5 December.

Hope the frost disappears as they are on winter greens today. I can't see the Elite boys playing there this weekend.

Jim with his short lived

nearest the hole at 6

David after his 3 net 2

SPOON BOY SCOTSCRAIG 2010

SPOON BOY

GERALDO CULLEN

As we drove over the Tay Bridge Gerry announced that it would be nice to get a wee win at Scotscraig to go with his winnings from Lundin and Leven.

Well he certainly got his wee win with a wee score of just 16 points he ended up clutching the Wooden Spoon. Not the prize Geraldo had in mind.

I met him at 5 and he had 2 blobs to his name and was not a happy chappy. Reaching the turn he had only 9 points and his game went even further down the tube with only 7 more points on the back 9.

Brother Jim spoke to me on the 14th and asked how Gerry was doing, When he heard of his struggles Jim was gutted that he had not placed another bet with Gerry.

On the 15th Gerry shanked a wedge straight at me and nearly fractured my other leg and by now his game was well and truly back over the Tay Bridge.

So Gerry becomes a 2 time winner of the spoon. These Cullen boys just can't stop winning something every outing.

Gerry is now also the proud holder of the lowest points total for 18 holes in normal conditions (not frozen ground).

The spoon is now back hanging in Geraldo's house till next week and with Jim not going to Powfoot we will only have 1 Cullen chasing the prizes - what prize will it be ?

WELL DONE GERRY DON'T FORGET THE SPOON NEXT WEEK

PHOTOS FROM SCOTSCRAIG

Jim looking a bit smug

on hearing his brother

had only got 16 points !!

Tommy pissing himself

because Gerry had 16

points.
Big Neil and his 2 wee pals
John Cummins, Andrew Alexander,

John Carslaw and Graham Dickie

Mr Happy standing

with his arms folded and it's

not big Davy G

Sinky, Smarty,Del Boy and Craig

Scotscraig Results

FIRST REPORT FROM SCOTSCRAIG

A bitter cold and windy day resulted in some very low points totals. The course was also playing long and with straight driving a must around this trek many players found themselves with one hand on the wooden spoon as the round reached the turn.

There will be more about the day later on in a special report - A View from Inside the Buggy.

The testing conditions resulted in only 9 players achieving 30 points or more and the winner was Craig Chalmers with 36 points finishing 3 over par for the round. Also playing to his handicap with 36 points was Andrew Alexander who reached the turn with 20 points only to falter in the back 9 and allow Craig to beat him on the bih with 20 points. Neil Keir was in 3rd place with 35 points.

Nearest the pins were as follows

13th Brian Newell

6th Davy Chalmers

THE WOODEN SPOON AWARD

The man that just can't stop winning something at each outing.

GERRY CULLEN 16 POINTS

A special report will follow on this award later.

FULL RESULTS

Craig Chalmers 36

Andrew Alexander 36

Neil Keir 35

Jim Stirling 34

Brian Newell 33

Billy Gibson 33

Derek Mitchael 32

Alex Smart 30

Paul James 30

John Sommerville 29

Gordon Sinclair 29

Tommy Nicholson 29

Ian Baird 29

David Stirling 28

David Chalmers 28

Jim Cullen 27

John Cummins 27

Kenny Lang 26

Mick Drummond 26

Danny Totten 25

John Carslaw 25

David Graham 25

Stevie Paul 25

George Leadbitter 24

Graham Dickie 23

John Hamilton 23

Gerry Cullen 16

CURRENT TOP 10 WITH 3 ROUNDS

Paul James 96

Billy Gibson 95

Ian Baird 94

Stevie Paul 92

John Sommerville 91

Neil Keir 91

David Stirling 88

Gerry Cullen 88

Alex Smart 86

Kenny Lang 86

More Photos and reports to follow

NO SPOON FOR ME THIS YEAR

THINGS PEOPLE DO TO AVOID THE SPOON.

Yesterday I went in to get a tear in my cartilage repaired, having been told by the doctor last week that recovery was 2-3 weeks and I would be running again. I was also told that I would be walking out of hospital yesterday.

As you can guess things didn't go to plan and I am on full crutches for 6 weeks and full recovery 2- 3 months. Just prior to going into the theatre the Consultant announced that he was concerned about other areas of my cartilage and he might have to do a small clean up but I would still walk out of hospital.

Then he announced that he might have to do some reconstructive work and that would be a different matter. Full crutches for at least 6 weeks and 3 months recovery but he wouldn't know until he had a look inside.

I went into surgery which was meant to be for 25-30 minutes and instead it lasted 90 minutes.

The knee was a lot worse than he thought and he had to drill small holes in the cartilage and make micro fractures which should heal larger and stronger. The original tear was no problem and went fine but I am now totally dependent on these crutches and there will be no chance of me winning the spoon this year.

So Stevie P that is one of the C's out of the equation and Jamie C is also not playing that just leaves the Cullens so you're still safe.I might get playing by the end of January but will have to wait and see.

I am going to Scotscraig this weekend with Gordon and I have booked a buggy to drive round and watch the rest of you hack up the course.

See you all there

Names for Scotscraig,Powfoot and Elie

SCOTSCRAIG 21ST NOVEMBER

First Tee Time next week is 10.48

Craig Chalmers

Gordon Sinclair

Alex Smart

Gerry Cullen

Graham Dickie

Danny Totten

George Leadbitter

Billy Gibson

John Sommerville

Stevie Paul

David Graham

Paul James

Brian Newell

Jim Stirling

Kenny Lang

John Hamilton

Derek Mitchael

John Carslaw

Michael Kennaway

Ian Baird

Neil Keir

David Stirling

Andrew Alexander

Peter Ritchie

Jim Cullen

Tommy Nicholson

Mick Drummond

1 PLACE LEFT

POWFOOT 5TH DECEMBER

Craig Chalmers

Gordon Sinclair

Scott Kennedy

Ian Hutchinson

George Leadbitter

Alex Smart

Billy Gibson

Danny Totten

John Sommerville

Stevie Paul

David Graham

Gerry Cullen

Paul James

Brian Newell

Jamie Carroll

Kenny Lang

Michael Kennaway

Ian Baird

Neil Keir

David Stirling

Stevie McPherson

John Carslaw

Malcolm Hannah

1 PLACE LEFT

ELIE LINKS 30TH JANUARY

Robert Chalmers

Craig Chalmers

Scott Kennedy

Stevie McPherson

Ian Hutchinson

Gordon Sinclair

George Leadbitter

Alex Smart

Danny Totten

Billy Gibson

John Sommerville

Stevie Paul

David Graham

Gerry Cullen

Paul James

Brian Newell

Jim Stirling

Kenny Lang

John Carslaw

Ian Baird

Neil Keir

David Stirling

Tommy Nicholson

Mick Drummond

Peter Ritchie

Jim Cullen

Malcolm Hannah

John Hamilton

Derek Mitchaell

Andrew Alexander

Murray Greig

Michael Kennaway

FULL NO PLACES

32 players now

Reserve list

David Chalmers

I will be taking names for Dundonald at Scotscraig -no deposit required. I will need £10 for Gullane No2 and I am also taking names for our Xmas round and lunch at Lenzie.

Circus Dancers

Jim celebrating not winning

the spoon and taking

£20 from his brother !
Jonny S just celebrating because

that is what he likes to do all the

time.

Prize Winners at Leven

1ST PLACE STEVIE

2ND PLACE GERRY
3RD PLACE PAUL

Spoon Boy Leven 2010

FROM CHAMP TO CHUMP

Davy Graham is the proud holder of the spoon for the next fortnight. Last years overall winner was clearly shocked at receiving this award as you can see in the above photo. Davy must now rediscover the steady game he had last winter or he could go from overall Winter Champion to Winter Donkey (currently held by Jamie Carroll). It is maybe to early in the tour for a answer to that one but with a few hard matches before the Xmas break it's good to get some points in the bag.

Humped Pumped and Dumped

Peter and Scott getting

Ready to win their match

9/8


NEW RECORD HUMPING 9-8

Murray Greig preparing to get well and truly rogered along with his partner Micheal Kennaway

Leven Links

FIRST BATCH OF PHOTOS

Leven Links

RESULTS FROM LEVEN

Round 2 of our winter league was again held in great conditions with lots of sunshine and very little wind. It was possibly the best day for the last 2 weeks and either side of Sunday the weather has been horrendous. I wonder what the scores would have been if we were out on the Links today playing.

We had 24 players at this round and the scores were close at both ends of the scale.

In first place was Stevie "I will never win he spoon" Paul with a solid 36 points . He was followed by Gerry Cullen also on 36 points but Gerry was less 2 for sweep purposes only due to his win at Lundin 2 weeks ago giving him 34 points. In 3rd place we had 4 players on 33 points Peter Ritchie, Scott Kennedy, Michael Drummond and Paul James. Paul and Peter both had the same back 9 but Paul had a better last 3 holes total and claimed 3rd place.

Nearest the pin at the 5th was Alex Smart and at the 15th Ian Baird.

At the rear of the field we had 3 players on 24 points.

David Graham - back 9 total 13

Michael Kennaway- back 9 total 14

Bruce Finney-back 9 total 15

So the winner of the Wooden Spoon was our defending Winter Champion David Graham. Currently Davy is not the golfer he was last winter and will soon have to find the game he had last year or his defence could be over before the New Year. Could he go from Champ to Chump in 1 season - time will tell.

Other facts from Sunday

Murray Greig and Michael Kennaway set a new Tour record by losing their match 9-8.

Their opponents were Peter Ritchie and Scott Kennedy and that is a record that will be hard to beat.

Big Neil Keir got a par at the 18th which is one of the hardest finishing holes in Scotland - a great achievement by someone with a handicap of 22.

I don't think anyone else managed to get a par on that hole so well done Neil.

Gerry Cullen lost all his winnings and more to a side bet with his wee brother that Jim would retain the spoon from Lundin. Jim survived comfortably and Gerry handed over the cash in front of us all.

I was given a bottle of whiskey by the Captain of Leven and I will keep it for a prize at the end of the season. A nice gesture from the club and Leven remains one of the best deals of the winter. Food and service was very good.

Results

Alex Smart 26 Malky Hannah 29 George Leadbitter 27

Brian Newell 28 Stevie Paul 36 Bruce Finney 24

Billy Gibson 32 Kenny Lang 30 Mick Drummond 33

Robert Chalmers 32 David Stirling 28 Stevie McPherson 29

Paul James 33 Michael Kenneway 24 Ian Baird 31

Davy Graham 24 Murray Greig 25 Jim Cullen 27

Gerry Cullen 36 Peter Ritchie 33 Neil Keir 32

Tommy Nicholson 30 Scott Kennedy 33 John Sommerville 31

Stevie cut 2

Gerry cut 1 ( now -3 )

Paul cut 1

Current Top 10 after 2 rounds

Gerry Cullen 72

Stevie Paul 67

Paul James 66

Ian Baird 65

Robert Chalmers 63

John Sommerville 62

Billy Gibson 62

David Stirling 60

kenny Lang 60

Stevie McPerson 57

Things can change very quickly as it is your best 5 rounds from a possible 9/10.

Just a small point from Sunday. We all should be playing preferred lies at this time of year. So from now on all courses we play that is our winter rule.

I now have names for the following rounds.

Scotscraig 21st November 25 names 3 places left

Powfoot 5 th December 23 names 5 places left

Elie 30th January 28 names FULL

Dundonald is on the 16th of January and I will take names for it at Scotscraig. No deposit is required for Dundonald but I will need £10 for Gullane No2 at the end of February.

A full list of who has paid for what will be put on the site later this week.

New Hall of Fame at the right hand side of web site and also The Biggest Humping Record - Two lists you want to avoid joining.

PHOTOS TO FOLLOW SOON

LEVEN SUNDAY 7TH NOVEMBER

Leven Links

First tee time 10.00 am.

Rolls booked from 9.15 am.

24 players.

2 course meal afterwards.

Total Cost £25.00.

Weather to be dry and sunny.

Scotscraig on the 21st of November has 28 players now.

MORE PHOTOS LUNDIN